Does it Help Put Pounds Out The Pipe?

I spent most of my career working in chemical manufacturing facilities.  Most of the products were of the commodity type and the key to success was maintaining your production and managing your costs. One of the things I learned along the way was to view your personnel as value adding resources and not fixed costs.  Two comments I heard along this subject have stuck with me for many years.  A plant manager once said, "The only people we need are operators and salesmen'.  "Everyone else was overhead".  The other comment came from an old friend, the late Thad Shook.  While discussing some proposed change, Thad stated, "How will that help us put pounds out the pipe?"

In order to meet reduced State funding Beaumont ISD recently announced plans to reduce costs without reducing "any" jobs.  I applaud the notion of  implementing cost reductions that do not reduce jobs.  However,  is this the best solution to help BISD "put pounds out the pipe"?  Like profitable businesses, I believe the affluent school districts behave in a similar manner and enjoy the fruits of success and forget to manage their costs in a prudent manner.  When finances turn, the quick fix is usually the elimination of jobs.  Many times reductions occur without understanding the value they add.

Comparing a school district to a manufacturing facility, All a school district needs is teachers, buildings and materials.  Every other job and activity is overhead.   For a simple example, lets assume that BISD has 20,000 students and the state requires a 15:1 student teacher ratio.  Then  the district would need 1334 teachers.  Since the school district employees about 3000 total employees, that would mean that 1666 employees or about $60million in salaries are overhead. 

BISD's Mission is to prepare graduates to be successful by providing the knowledge, skills and values necessary to compete in the real world.  Therefore, all of the 1666 positions should be evaluated on how they are adding value to the classroom teachers efforts to accomplish this mission.  If  these positions do not add value, they should be eliminated, regardless of the funding situation.  The same principle should be followed for EVERY expenditure in the district.  How does the purchase of a One Ton King Ranch Truck help "Put Pounds out the Pipe".  What is the added value of hiring an assistant to the Public Relations person? 

There was another saying I remember, but can't credit anyone in particular,  "If you don't know where you are going, any road will get you there"

Come On And Take A Free Ride.

You may recall Tom Barnard from one of my earlier blogs.  I worked with Tom in Chattanooga for many years.  Tom was a confirmed bachelor and one of the best people you could know.  He would do anything within his power for you. Tom was not a handy man kind of guy.  He once called the power company when his bathroom light went out and it was only a tripped breaker.

Tom would buy a new vehicle every year or so and would sell the one he had.  In addition, he would move from apartment to apartment periodically for some reason I still don't understand.  When he changed abodes, he usually bought new furniture and would either sell his old stuff  cheaply or even give it away.  Since most of us co-workers were poor, young couples, we pretty much stood in line for Tom's next move. It was after one of these re-locations the following occurred.

My wife and I had gone to a local convenience store one evening for something.  While I was inside paying for the goods, Linda hollered for me to come outside saying, "You've got to see this".  Well, Tom had moved again and the "vultures" had moved in on his furniture.  He had given his old couch to Gene Satterwaite.  Gene had enlisted the help of Stan Fugate, who had a pickup, and, along with Tom's help, were moving it to his own place.  Stan and Tom were riding in the cab of the truck and Gene was laying on the couch in the back of the truck drinking a beer.  After leaving the four-way stop at the intersection of Ely Rd and Delashmitt, Stan accelerated enough to cause the couch to come out of the back of the truck bed with Gene riding it like a bucking bronc.  By the time I got outside they were carrying it across the street to reload in the truck. They never saw us.

Gene never dropped his beer.  When they returned to work the next morning, the plant cartoonist already had a sketch on the bulletin board.

Tom and Gene would later make the plant cartoons when they unloaded their boat on the side of the road when the tie-down strap broke as they rounded a curve.  I think alcohol might have been involved in this incident as well, but I can't say for sure.

I Didn't Mensa My Words...

How do you measure intelligence?  I am sure that if I "googled" this question, I would find thousands of articles written by various academic experts.  They would probably produce arguments about IQ tests and various other academic studies that measures a person's ability.  They would quote famous people and include a lot of words that us country boys can't understand. There would be talk of  medians, means, standard deviations, margin of error and other stuff. 

Having spent a career in the chemical industry, I had the opportunity to work with some very talented engineers.  Some had BS degrees and some had PhDs.  During the early 2000s I went to the plant medical section to see my friend, Doc Webb, the company physician.  As I walked into the medical section, Rick Stimek one of the above mentioned engineers was leaving his office.  When he left, Doc, a pretty smart guy himself,  asked, "Who do you think is the smartest person on the plant?".  Without hesitation, I responded, "I am".  He said, "What? Do you think you are  smarter than Rick, to which I replied, Yes"  "What about Dubnansky"  "Yep", I said.  Then he said, "What makes you think you are smarter than they are?"  My response was, "It depends upon whether you measure intelligence horizontally or vertically"  For example,  I know about Boyle's law, and other chemical engineering standards, but do I know enough to design a chemical plant?  No?  On the other hand, do either Rick or Rich know who won the American League batting title in 1954?  I do!  So, who is the smartest?  The person that knows a whole lot about something or someone that knows a little about a whole lot?   Was Albert Einstein smarter than Ken Jennings?

I remember asking my Mother one time what was my IQ and she wouldn't tell me. She gave me some philosophy about "Potential only meant that person hadn't done nothing yet" And, that only effort and attitude mattered.  To this day I don't know if it was low and she didn't want to hurt my feelings or it was high and she didn't want me to rest on my laurels. 

I have known people that I thought were smart and were not successful in life and some highly successful people that were not all that bright.  I remember a college professor with a PhD in Chemistry that couldn't figure out how to keep his dog in the back yard.  He kept checking the fence and  gates and each time when he put him out back, the dog would beat him to the front door.  His neighbor who was a high school graduate that worked at one of the local refineries solved his problem.  It appeared that the professor's house was built on piers and the dog would just run under the house.

By the way, it was Bobby Avila, Cleveland Indians 2B and he hit .341.

Super Hero Retires, Names Successor

Press Release: 

Today in an unexpected move The Super Hero known as "G-Man'  announced his retirement along with his Sidekick, Buddy.

 

"After nearly 50 years of fighting crime, promoting justice, and trying to live the 'Texan Way', my Sidekick,  Buddy,  and I have decided to retire from a proactive role of reducing evil and protecting damsels in distress where ever we are called.  Sidekick plans to spend his time collecting things,  reducing the size of his storage and the naming of Hwy 105, Super Hero Highway.  I plan to devote my energies to my Fantasy Football team, coaching and counseling aspiring apprentice super heroes and providing guidance, motivation and vision to my legion of fans and followers, mainly those that can be found in Section BB. 

Being looked up to by so many has taken its toll, and, I have to admit, I have slowed down a bit.  While attending the Royal Wedding, I had to get a running start to leap a tall building.  Sidekick has lost some efficiency as a master of disguise.  He was recognized in Hooters several months ago.  After much discussion over cheeseburgers, we have decided to turn over our stardom while we are still on the top of our game.  

The world will not be left defenseless with our departure as we have prepared for this moment for many years.  We have had many apprentices in training and have selected the most talented one to take my place.  We have worked many assignments together and he has performed in a talented and professional manner.  His talents are well suited for the 21st Century and the changing cultural we are experiencing.  I would like to take this moment to introduce,  Abdul, New Super Hero                        

Side kick and I would like to encourage everyone to be honest, do the right thing and call your Mamma's. We will continue to support the principles of truth, justice and the Texas Way.  Those wishing to make donations should designate them to the "George W. "Buddy" Fortune Backstop Youth Center" fund.  Peace and God Bless Texas!

This Rescue Didn't Require a Super Hero

Pattie at the Bath

( With apologies to Ernest Lawrence Thayer)

The outlook wasn’t brilliant for the Cardinal nine that day
The score was 3 to 3 with but 3 more innings left to play.
And then when Mena died at first and Jude didn’t hit the ball,
Pattie left her seat to answer Mother Nature’s call.


As Pattie left unnoticed, Buchanan got a hit
Then Zentek drew a walk before Pattie could even sit.
Mathis stroked a single as we all stood up to cheer                                              
Pattie was in the process of recycling her last beer.


With the Cardinals out in front, with a one run lead
Kat received a call from her sister who was in need.
It was then that we realized that Pattie was not in her seat
She failed to witness the significance of Mathis’s fete.


Oh, somewhere in this favored land the sun is shining bright
The band is playing somewhere, and somewhere hearts are light
And somewhere men are laughing and somewhere children shout
But there is no joy at Vincent-Beck, The pretty Pattie is locked out.


Note:
While watching a college baseball game between Lamar and McNeese, Pattie went to the rest room and got locked in the stall. She had to call her sister, Kat, on her cell to come get her out. The two Caywood sisters are big baseball fans and have had seats in Section BB for several years. When she returned, everyone in our section was shaking their keys at her. While driving home, I recalled the poem of my youth, "Casey at the Bat" and shamelessly stole from it.

Rites of Passage

Throughout history rites of passage ceremonies have marked  a person's progress from one event to another.  They come in all manners of activities.  Obtaining a driver's license and making that first solo trip from home is experienced by most teenagers at some point.  Baptisms, confirmations and bar mitzvah are religious rites of passage.  Graduations,  recitals and Quinceanera are others.  Club and fraternal organizations initiations are rituals that fit the definition.  And, of course, the Wedding fits the description.

We have all experienced many life events that define our progress from one state to another.  It was the anticipation of such a change that gave me great anxiety in my preteen years.  Elementary school included Grades 1 thru 6.  After the sixth grade you went to junior high at  a new campus.   From the time you were in the fourth grade you knew about the Rites of Passage to Junior High. All males were subject to this initiation.  

Upper class men in junior high would catch the new sixth grade boys, take off their pants and run them up the flag pole.  A humiliation that I had grown to fear as time to make the move to the new campus got closer.  

The other concern that gave me grief was not a rite of passage as much as it was a different rule.  You had to wear shoes to school.  Most of us went barefooted most of the year.  Wearing shoes was uncomfortable. 

Although the "big guys" never did take my pants off or anyone else's for that matter, we did have to wear shoes.  We all moved to another life stage.

The Super Hero Highway

                                               (Pine Island Bayou, near Hwy 105)

In 1982 we moved from the West End of Beaumont to Bevil Oaks.  We wanted a little land and a more rural lifestyle.   We raised some horses, chickens, a cow and three kids while making the daily 48 mile round trip commute to work.  At first, there were no stop signs and no stop lights on that 24 mile stretch.  A little over six miles of that drive  was on Hwy 105.  At first Hwy 105 was a two-lane road.  Over the years it was widened to five lanes.  Traffic lights were installed at several intersections.  Today,  a couple of fried chicken and burger joints line the drive, as well as six convenience stores.  Heck, there is even a builder supply store and a medical clinic and a few other small businesses.  I remember when the only business on that six mile stretch was a bar.

Today I was riding Hwy 105 to town to get a hair cut and the traffic going both ways was heavy and moving at a rapid pace.  It occurred to me that Hwy 105 was going to continue to grow until it resembled Dowlen Rd.  I recall when Dowlen was a shell road through the oil fields.

It was at that point that I had an epiphany.  Hwy 105 has no name.  It is simply, Hwy 105.  The BISD and the City of Beaumont have been trying to name everything they can for some political, egotistical and/or righteous reasons.  We have the Butch named after the School District Super, the swimming pool at that location named after some school board trustee that is of no significance.   Part of Florida Ave was changed to the name of the baseball coach.  Railroad Ave was changed to MLK.   Other streets have been named after preachers and politicians.
The City is trying to come up with a name for the new pond downtown.

We have named the backstop at Bingman Elementary the Buddy, after one of the kids that grew up playing baseball there.

It is only a matter of time before someone comes up with some stupid proposal to name Hwy 105. Therefore, I am requesting every one's support in naming the section of Hwy 105 from the Eastex Freeway to the Pine Island Bayou Bridge after me.  I have calculated that I have driven approximately 250,000 miles on that section of road.  I once rode my horse to the only business on the highway.  When it was still two lanes, I once passed a string of cars while going 100mph to find the lead car was a Highway Patrol (But, that is worth another Blog).  I feel that I am worthy of having that six mile stretch of Texas Highway named in my honor.  

I am suggesting G-Man, Super Hero Highway.   Feel free to submit other name suggestions.